Random acts of kindness

I had seen this pinterest on "Random acts of kindness" and was totally blown away with it. I thought to myself that this would be something that I would want to do, something on my bucket list for sure.
Well, the day has dawned. Today was my day to do random acts of kindness.
I filled the day with small acts, that meant nothing to me and went from a very "me" oriented person to totally not caring about "me" today. It has given me a very different perspective of life and what "being blessed" is actually about...

My random people for today were: a store sales clerk, the mail man, a lady on the wheelchair I met a Food Lion, the amazing people who work at the library and the service and office staff at my apartment complex. Although, there was one more stop on my list for today, the fire station close to my house, I did not get to it, due to two very tired and ready for nap kids. So I decided I am extending my celebration to tomorrow as well.

What an amazing feeling...to see some stranger have tears in their eyes and bless you...to see some one smile and feel on top of the world, all because you cared and gave them the gift of feeling special.

Thank you for the pinterest share ( Cindy!) it was an amazing idea and gave me way more gifts in a completely unfathomable way on my birthday!

I am going to make it my birthday tradition to be followed from the years hence!!

Parenting Style

Ever so often I find myself saying..."Thats just not my parenting style" and after I say that..I also have a good chuckle at the apparent paradox of what I have said...Parenting and style in the same sentence....Parenting has NO style...its as clumsy as one can be with two left feet...trying to dance with shoelaces that are knotted with each other...
Actually parenting is one thing that most of us parents...would want to do it the most elegant way and fall flat within the first few minutes of having that sweet baby in our hands...If you are thinking to yourself..."Na..thats not me!"....Please do not delude yourself...How many times have you thought to yourself..."Parenting was not supposed to be this hard/complicated?" if you have said that even once..welcome to the world of parenting klutzes..."My name is D...and I am a parent"
So coming back to parenting style...there are only two styles...Being a parent and not being a parent....
thats all!...there is no "Times New Roman", "Monotype Corsiva"...etc..
We wake up in the morning and the clock starts ticking...choices..decisions...threats..( yes..I used that...."You are going to eat this green looking goopy spinach..because I said so..or I am going to take that toy away".....to...bribes..("Dessert after food..."). So ..you see there is no time to concentrate..let alone..take the time to be elegant...you are a walking talking disaster prevention team.."Get off the table now!" to..."No you cannot pretend your sister is a bouncy trampoline!"...
So when I sit down late at night..such as today...and try to recollect what my most elegant moment of the day was...and I fail to remember a single magnificent parent moment...I say to myself thats ok....I pat myself on my back and let go....After all ...If Parenting was an exam...that you could be graded for...we could only give ourselves ..."I"- for- "Incomplete".....because all our lives...we are going to keep doing what you are doing...this course will never be completed...
So take a deep breath...and the next time some one gives you parenting advice that you think is insane..Smile..and say.."Thats not my parenting style" and chuckle to yourself under your breath!
Goodluck..may you ace this one!

Who am I?

Aah...finally...a post about me...you would think being a individual would one-up over most identities...but Nope...being a Mom...just engulfs you...consumes you....eats you..Ok you get my point!
Yesterday....me and H were having a conversation....about somethings that were bothering me..and H said.."I dont want this to be your identity....I want bigger things for you...or rather...things that give you joy...dont pull you down!" and I realized...he was right....
Way before I had kids...I was a graduate student..working towards being an educator....I was accomplished...because I had worked hard to get where I was...and most importantly....I was passionate about teaching and good at what I did...

Now I am a MOM....and although you expect kudos...for all things you do everyday....most of the time...here is what describes me...
Unsure....not confident...always second guessing...everything I do....not because I feel I am not doing my best...but because..I always feel what if my best is not good enough...
I had kids and now suddenly...I cry at the drop of the hat...if someone criticizes my parenting...if someone advises me on what I may not be doing right...and I realize...I am surrounded....by all this mommyness....which has completely clouded me and my sense of individuality...

And now at this point of life I am thinking...of all the wants....
I want friends who will stand by me ...irrespective of political correctness...who will love me for who I am....despite who I am
I want a career....that I can get up in the morning...and look forward to....and most importantly...I want time...to be what I can be....despite my shortcomings...

I have two amazing kids...and the love of my life...H....so being a good mommy and wife is easy peasy....The rest I need to work on....the rest I need to figure...

I just want the answer to "Who am I" to be..."Me!"

So if you are reading this blogpost..here is what I want you to do...."Smile...and pick up a pen....and write about the time when you were 16 :)" and even if it makes you feel all gawky again...it will atleast be just about you !

You know you are a Mom when....

I know we have read a zillion of these lists....But I figured reading thru a few more would not hurt us...so here we go...
You know you are a MOM when..

1. You are in the shower...and all you can sing is .."barney is a dinosaur..from your imagination"
2. You cannot pee...unless someone is banging on the door..."Momma...I dont want you to go to the bathroom"
3. You longed to hear your baby say.."mama" and now you just run..when you hear..."MMMMAA..."
   
4. When your kids are dressed better than you ever were in your life..
5. You crib to your husband about "me" time...and then spend that time...talking about your kids with your friends.
6. Almost all of your clothes have some kinda body fluid on them...(pee,drool,puke...!)
7. You berated your parents for not giving you good reasons for why they wanted you to do something....but after all is said and done....you resort to.."because I said so!"
8. You end up watching PBS kids...even if your kids are not...
   
9. atleast zillion people have given you advice on how to raise your kids and you have not strangled some of them...just because you need to be there for your kids and cannot afford to go to jail.
10. everytime your kid makes you really mad....you remember you mom saying.."Wait..till you have kids of your own!...

We all hear each other say...Being a mommy is a tough job....and well the truth is we all say it to each other....but it never does sink it...until that one time you are in the bathroom yelling for silence so you can pee .....and your toddler asks.."Why?"
Thats it for today folks ! Keep smiling..chin up and eyes on the kids...You never know what they are upto!

STTN!

Its 12.30 am...you read that right "AM"....what??? Are u kidding me..? You dont know what 12.30 AM looks like...There can only be two explanations to that phenomenon...
A) You dont have kids...(Ah! The good life..!)
B) your kids STTN ( I could cuss you right now....but I have more important favor to ask.."Can u ask ur kids to come talk to mine!")...if you didnt get the Acronym...you for sure belong to the A category and should not be reading this post anyways!

If you are continuing to read...it can only mean one thing...you are already parents (lost case!)...or someday plan on becoming one...(Aah....my poor parenting virgins...you need therapy) but thats for a different post....for today....I will let you know...that "STTN" is the among the first "Acronyms" you will google/obsess about in your role as parents..

STTN- refers to sleeping through the night...and no...it doesnt refer to you sleeping through the night...trust me...having a kid..cures you of that..you can pretty much fall asleep...anywhere....
once your kids hits the bed....in fact you will most times fall asleep before your kid does! Now that my friend is 'being a parent"....But I digress...so back to STTN

STTN refers to your kids sleeping through the night...and most often than not..if you are actually googling or searching the net for such a terminology....I am certain....your kids are not STTN..it is this much coveted prize...and if u ask most parents..they will give up..Nobel Prizes...Emmys, Oscars to get their kids to STTN. Yes..its that big a deal...

I will let you in on an secret.....there must be a "murphy's law" on STTN....
If you ever tell anyone that your kid STTNs....then from that instant on...they will wake up atleast 3-4 times every night...
If you dont believe me..you are welcome to try it out for yourself...but let me go ahead and preface it with.."DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!".....and more so with .."If you do decide to try this at home....make sure your husband is at home...that way he gets to be up with the kids...and you can continue to sleep!"
I have always believed its Karma....you know..the reason...the moment you celebrate and declare that your kids are giving you the gift of sleep...that they turn against you...

Its not the kids actually... Its all those sleepless mommy zombies out there sending these sleepless vibes your way...wishing you were in their shoes..actually probably wishing you were in their glider/ottoman..couch...floor...bed..with a boppy pillow propped under your twin sisters..and a baby latched on...and they...in your comfy bed!

And please...dont be surprised or hurt...lots of them are your friends....that have turned on you!...sleepless nights can do that to you!...you would pretty much do anything for a good night of sleep...stealing your friends sleep is probably the easy one on that.."I could do .."fill in the blank" for a good night's sleep!)
So....for all my STTN'ers out there...enjoy it ....and if you want to keep enjoying it...Zip it! Lock your trap...and throw away the key my friend!
Nighty nite!

Not that kind of Mom!

As it happens to a lot of us SAHMs, some one will come along...on our "take care of the dripping syrup from one child...while answering the toddler's zillionth question" day....and say " I dont know how you do it...I am so not that kind of a mom"

Really?...I mean.."Really? Really?"....No..I am not remotely offended by your comment...My legs just like to spread around and land on butts like yours..!Most of such "moms" will always follow it up with.."I admire you for doing it" ..Ya...that makes it sound so much better!

NOBODY...is "that kind of mom"and I am sorry for screaming...but it happens a lot when you ARE trying to be that kind of mom.......Most of us...atleast before we became moms were human....well becoming a mom just got us superpowers..All moms...whether SAHM or working moms...would love some kid free time during the time of the day...there are days when we SAHMs think and dream about our carefree days...but it takes a lot of patience, love and will power...to SNAP out of the fantasy land...and go back to "Mom..I peed on the bathroom floor..look water!" kind of reality...

For example, in the time you have read this post...I have wrestled and relocated my laptop to hundred different positions...to save it from my 10 month old..I have seen my son pretend his pajamas are tortillas and make burrito out of it....while trying to make sense of why someone who even remotely knows this life....would be "that kind of mom"

So do me a favor will ya? Next time you want to give me a compliment for being a good mom...keep my kids for 2 hours and buy me an expensive gift card...Now...THAT I can appreciate !

Cooking up a storm!

I share this love hate relationship with cooking....:) for me its not therapeutic..as some fanatic cooks might call it...I like to get creative ...but for me its not about being there for ages...

Its not a chore either....for me its more about how much can be done in the shortest possible amount of time...I hate the kitchen...for me it is second on my list of least favorite rooms in our apartment...the first one being the toyroom....(Aah...! more mess to clear and I always seem to be stuck in a time warp when I am there...time just doesnt pass!)

So back to cooking and kitchen....as I was saying...I love making my kitchen trip as short as possible...H loves cooking though...for him cooking is this elaborate process.....and he can be stuck in there for hours....sometimes I feel...thats where he escapes the reality of two screaming kids and a not so happy wife..(I know what some of you are thinking here...Her husband cooks...and she is not happy???) Well you wont be either...if you are stuck with the kids...all the time he cooks...But I love all that he churns out of a kitchen...if I had to ever nominate someone who would be the best cook I have ever come across in my life...it would be him...H makes amazing Sambhar ( a wonderful lentil dish from the southern part of India...) and yes Indian Chinese...yummy Hakka noodles and Manchurian....!

But thats not what my love hate relationship with kitchen and cooking is all about...Its about H's sambhar....

People swoon and drool over his sambhar.....They swear by his Sambhar as if it was the last fulfilling meal they ever ate... and I dont like dealing with that! I am not entirely jealous of his Sambhar...well maybe a little bit...but mostly its about the amount of grief I get on how lucky I am....Some of it is also about how people come up to H and ask him if he is going to make his Sambhar anytime soon...(Hello?? He is my husband...not some "Cook-on-demand-Sambhar-Chef"...so lay off!)

Right now H is cooking again....:) and some part of me is Happy....and waiting for the yummy outcome of his efforts...but most part of me is happy because no one else is here to taste it....

:)...So I can actually enjoy my love's cooking without the nagging worry of the new taste storm it is going to create in the circles we move in!